Ways to Shift Your Dating Mindset - Traci Porterfield
With Valentine’s Day upon us, many emotions tend to surface around dating and love ... or the lack thereof. If answering the question “Why are you still single?” stirs feelings of frustration, self-doubt, insecurity, and/or loneliness, it’s time for an honest check in with yourself. Could your dating attitude be holding you back from finding the love you so desire? Are you ready to step into a space where anything is possible?
A few simple shifts in your dating mindset can make the journey easier and more enjoyable, and allow you to draw others to you like a magnet. The path isn’t always easy, yet with these shifts, the love of your life could be closer than you think!
1. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude has the power to transform your life—especially your love life. Allow gratitude to be your solid foundation to health, happiness, and love. It opens your heart and allows you to have more meaningful connections, think more positively, and enjoy the ups and downs that tend to go with those on a quest for their happily ever after. Gratitude makes you feel better about yourself and helps you attract the love you desire … and deserve.
So instead of focusing on what you lack, be grateful and happy with what you DO have, while taking action to attract love. Start simple—express gratitude to those around you who brighten your day: your friends and family, the barista, your dog-sitter, and even the neighbour who brings in your trash cans when you’re away.
Gratitude is also an antidote for worry, fear, and painful emotions. Whether you’re new to the dating world, or consider yourself a seasoned professional, daily gratitude raises your vibration and allows love to flow both to and from you. Be grateful for the people you dated who didn’t work out, and the lessons they gave you. Forgiveness makes you strong, releases anger and resentment, and promotes inner peace. When you feel grateful, you appreciate what’s already present in your life, even as you strive for more.
2. Do Something Different (DSD)
When is the last time you did something for the first time? When you choose to do something different, no matter how small, you bring new feelings, people, and oftentimes growth into your consciousness. “DSD” can be as simple as driving a different way to work, wearing a new colour to the office or on a date, hiking on a trail you’ve never explored, or signing up for a class on a topic that intrigues you. For a DSD in your home, redecorate your living or working space to give your life and energy a shift. How about painting the walls a new colour? Vibrant colours can leave you feeling invigorated and enthusiastic. Simply rearranging the furniture and rotating the pictures on the walls is an easy way to feel refreshed. Rearranging brings variety, clears energy, and provides a sense of renewal, even inspiration.
To extend your reach, volunteer for an organisation that resonates with you. Volunteering allows you to connect to your community and make it a better place. Making a difference to the lives of people, animals, and organisations in need is good for both your mind and body, and kindles happiness. And you just might meet someone special whose core values are in alignment with yours. Adopting a “DSD” attitude and embracing the newness that comes along with those experiences helps you say yes to life, and yes to infinite possibilities of love.
3. Create a Unique Dating Mantra
A mantra is more than just a statement or a phrase. It’s an energy and a belief. Mantras are frequently used in meditation sessions to silence all the talk in your head, and anyone can benefit from one, especially when they are on their search for the love of their life (which can get crazy at times!).
Your mind is full of noise—largely repetitive, useless, and even harmless thoughts that are on replay much of the time. A mantra cuts through these thoughts instantly, to make you feel strong, capable, and at peace. So by creating your own personal pep talk, especially before a date, you set yourself up for a positive experience.
To create an authentic mantra, set your fears aside for a moment and ponder the question, “What do I like best about dating?”. Is it the excitement of meeting someone new? Is it dressing up and being your best self? Is it trying a new restaurant? Some simple examples are “Dating is fun. I love meeting new people”. Or “I learn something new about myself and the world with each date I go on”. The key is creating a mantra that is specific for YOU. Let it be fun and bring a smile to your face. And watch how your smile brings a smile to your date’s face!
4. Develop a Conscious Dating Journal
To bring more love into your life, approach dating with kindness, compassion, and a commitment to being authentic. Although the search for love can feel like a series of stops and starts, if you document your dating lessons, you will begin to see them as a purposeful journey, rather than a series of failures until you reach your success. The success is in your own growth and evolution during your journey. Similar to the soul questions you ask during mediation, after each date, ask and journal the answer to these three questions:
When you consciously look for what’s beautiful in another person, and come from a place of curiosity and introspection, you find that love and compassion are in abundance.
5. Choose Love
Deepak Chopra’s quote, “Because I always have a choice, I choose love” is beautifully simplistic. Love is a rich and powerful vibration, and when you choose to live with an open heart and mind, you will bring and experience more love in every area of your life. Imagine meeting someone new, and he or she greets you with a bright, beaming smile! They’re kind and joyful, and radiate positive energy. That is the power you have.
Your power lies in your small daily choices, one after another. So choose how you show up in every area of your life. Choose to shine bright and exude a loving energy. Choose actions that bring love and happiness to others and watch how it comes back to you. Choose love.
With Valentine’s Day upon us, many emotions tend to surface around dating and love ... or the lack thereof. If answering the question “Why are you still single?” stirs feelings of frustration, self-doubt, insecurity, and/or loneliness, it’s time for an honest check in with yourself. Could your dating attitude be holding you back from finding the love you so desire? Are you ready to step into a space where anything is possible?
A few simple shifts in your dating mindset can make the journey easier and more enjoyable, and allow you to draw others to you like a magnet. The path isn’t always easy, yet with these shifts, the love of your life could be closer than you think!
1. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude has the power to transform your life—especially your love life. Allow gratitude to be your solid foundation to health, happiness, and love. It opens your heart and allows you to have more meaningful connections, think more positively, and enjoy the ups and downs that tend to go with those on a quest for their happily ever after. Gratitude makes you feel better about yourself and helps you attract the love you desire … and deserve.
So instead of focusing on what you lack, be grateful and happy with what you DO have, while taking action to attract love. Start simple—express gratitude to those around you who brighten your day: your friends and family, the barista, your dog-sitter, and even the neighbour who brings in your trash cans when you’re away.
Gratitude is also an antidote for worry, fear, and painful emotions. Whether you’re new to the dating world, or consider yourself a seasoned professional, daily gratitude raises your vibration and allows love to flow both to and from you. Be grateful for the people you dated who didn’t work out, and the lessons they gave you. Forgiveness makes you strong, releases anger and resentment, and promotes inner peace. When you feel grateful, you appreciate what’s already present in your life, even as you strive for more.
2. Do Something Different (DSD)
When is the last time you did something for the first time? When you choose to do something different, no matter how small, you bring new feelings, people, and oftentimes growth into your consciousness. “DSD” can be as simple as driving a different way to work, wearing a new colour to the office or on a date, hiking on a trail you’ve never explored, or signing up for a class on a topic that intrigues you. For a DSD in your home, redecorate your living or working space to give your life and energy a shift. How about painting the walls a new colour? Vibrant colours can leave you feeling invigorated and enthusiastic. Simply rearranging the furniture and rotating the pictures on the walls is an easy way to feel refreshed. Rearranging brings variety, clears energy, and provides a sense of renewal, even inspiration.
To extend your reach, volunteer for an organisation that resonates with you. Volunteering allows you to connect to your community and make it a better place. Making a difference to the lives of people, animals, and organisations in need is good for both your mind and body, and kindles happiness. And you just might meet someone special whose core values are in alignment with yours. Adopting a “DSD” attitude and embracing the newness that comes along with those experiences helps you say yes to life, and yes to infinite possibilities of love.
3. Create a Unique Dating Mantra
A mantra is more than just a statement or a phrase. It’s an energy and a belief. Mantras are frequently used in meditation sessions to silence all the talk in your head, and anyone can benefit from one, especially when they are on their search for the love of their life (which can get crazy at times!).
Your mind is full of noise—largely repetitive, useless, and even harmless thoughts that are on replay much of the time. A mantra cuts through these thoughts instantly, to make you feel strong, capable, and at peace. So by creating your own personal pep talk, especially before a date, you set yourself up for a positive experience.
To create an authentic mantra, set your fears aside for a moment and ponder the question, “What do I like best about dating?”. Is it the excitement of meeting someone new? Is it dressing up and being your best self? Is it trying a new restaurant? Some simple examples are “Dating is fun. I love meeting new people”. Or “I learn something new about myself and the world with each date I go on”. The key is creating a mantra that is specific for YOU. Let it be fun and bring a smile to your face. And watch how your smile brings a smile to your date’s face!
4. Develop a Conscious Dating Journal
To bring more love into your life, approach dating with kindness, compassion, and a commitment to being authentic. Although the search for love can feel like a series of stops and starts, if you document your dating lessons, you will begin to see them as a purposeful journey, rather than a series of failures until you reach your success. The success is in your own growth and evolution during your journey. Similar to the soul questions you ask during mediation, after each date, ask and journal the answer to these three questions:
- What was great about this date?
- What did I learn from this person?
- What did I learn about myself from this person?
When you consciously look for what’s beautiful in another person, and come from a place of curiosity and introspection, you find that love and compassion are in abundance.
5. Choose Love
Deepak Chopra’s quote, “Because I always have a choice, I choose love” is beautifully simplistic. Love is a rich and powerful vibration, and when you choose to live with an open heart and mind, you will bring and experience more love in every area of your life. Imagine meeting someone new, and he or she greets you with a bright, beaming smile! They’re kind and joyful, and radiate positive energy. That is the power you have.
Your power lies in your small daily choices, one after another. So choose how you show up in every area of your life. Choose to shine bright and exude a loving energy. Choose actions that bring love and happiness to others and watch how it comes back to you. Choose love.
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